So those of you that know me know I have the weirdest control over my emotions. I’m not a hugely emotional person, and it’s rare that I actually cry, but those emotions do weird things to me. You could tell me to get my affairs in order, and i’d probably shrug it off and plan a vacation. Another example, when I’m in a deeply traumatizing pain…I’m basically going to laugh until I start hyperventilating. Growing up my mother didn’t tolerate us being cry babies, because if we were going to cry for no reason, by god she was going to give us one. Even in high school my stepmonster wasn’t a huge fan of tears so you better keep those emotions on lock-down. I’m not blaming my parents for my array of emotions, quite honestly, I’m humored by this. It was like their way of corrupting me unintentionally and making sure even though I turned out to be a fruit I was still a functioning member of society. So just so you can have a laugh yourself here’s a list of the top 20 dumbest and most random things I’ve cried about over the last few years in no particular order:

Disclaimer: I’m not a cute crier, it’s not a glistening tear thing. My face gets all puffy, I lose any distinguish of a chin I once possessed, and I get a weird quivering chin. I’m like a Kim K having a meltdown kind of crier when I actually decide to cry, so feel free to envision that as you read all these.

• Realizing my sisters all have abs except me (I laughed myself into a cry).
• I was scared/startled three times within an hour (Seriously, don’t scare me it hurts my heart).
• I watched a cute video of baby micro pigs (tiny little bacon seeds were adorable).
• Deciding it’s too soon to get a puppy.
• When I realized I killed all my patio plants, which in return meant I would fail as a dog mom, or at having real children someday. In my favor, I lived in a new place and for some reason my patio was attacked by vicious earwigs. I replanted and was much more successful.
  

  Seriously, i’m getting better at this old lady stuff.

• My friends got engaged and they had been in a relationship half as long as me. This was a reoccurring theme, and truthfully i’m still not ready for marriage lol.
  

  I’m so glad I have friends to screenshot my pitiful moments. 

• Two random strangers got engaged, I was being bitter, and claiming they weren’t even attractive, and I’m mediocrely cute and I’m still waiting on marriage (sorry random strangers I hope your marriage is going amazing now).
• There were dirty dishes in the sink after I had been on vacation for a week.
• I was getting braces, and having knee surgery a month a part and no one was going to love a 20-year-old gimpy brace face.
• 50% of every Undercover Boss episode that’s ever aired (I just love when the CEO’s see value even in the little people within the company…don’t judge). This happens during Sharktank too….just don’t watch entrepreneur shows with me.
• I was sick and my stepmom was 4 hours away, which meant I was never going to get better.
• Remembering how cute the video of the tiny bacon seeds was.
• I got a guitar for Christmas, and I was so excited about it.
• I announced that my G-string was broken, in front on my pastors grandson. I swear I was referring to my guitar.
• My sister told me I got my boobs and butt from my Nana.
• My bestfriend’s dad went to Vegas for a carwashing convention (okay, this was a laugh cry but seriously…he literally went all the way to Vegas to brush up on his carwash skills).
• My kitchen floor was thrown up on, and my bf ripped off his shirt (I’ve never been so annoyed).
• I didn’t want to go out on a Friday night which meant I was old.

• 

  In my favor this was taken in a truck during grain harvest, I needed sleep. 

• My sister called to tell me she was moving to Kansas, getting married, and having a baby…this was a lot in one phone call and she was only 20 miles away my emotions froze up. Cue hysteric crying.
• For a period in my single life my cousin would sing me the Farmer’s Only jingle every time I got ready. I laugh cried a little wondering if maybe she had a point.

These aren’t my most proud moments, and looking back I feel a little pathetic. At this stage in my blog these articles are getting a little shameless, but if at least one of you stays amused I’ll call this a success. I figured I’m at a point in my life where if I can’t laugh at myself I’m taking each day far too serious.

Until Next Time,

Julissa