This year has been a year of goal setting for me, mainly to break myself out of my comfort zone on a consistent basis. But even more recently I’ve changed my mindset from doing things that “make me happy” to doing things with a good attitude.

For years, I held my standards with the mentality that if I could just achieve this one thing I would be happy. For example, if I could graduate college and earn my degree I would be happy. If I could drive a new car, I would be happy with my life. If I could fit into skinny jeans without looking like a stuffed sausage in a casing, I would be happy… You get the point here right? The truth is I would set these micro goals for myself knowing that when I attained them I could live each day a bit happier. Unfortunately, that was and is NEVER the case. It’s human nature to never be content, so even as I reached my goals I found that I would be happy momentarily, and then I would move on to a “normal” attitude, searching for the next microburst of happiness. Last year was a vicious cycle for me and I found I was never content, or at peace with myself. I was fighting an internal battle, and I hadn’t even noticed. My family was constantly calling to check up on me, and my friends were asking if I was doing okay. The truth was I wasn’t okay, I was running after a form of happiness that would never be achieved for long. That’s when I decided I needed change in my life.

I started focusing less on what other people thought of me. It’s amazing how that alone changes a person, when you worry less about what others think and more about self-perception, attitude change comes naturally.  I quit buying things to impress people, and quit overanalyzing every encounter.  I started looking at my good qualities, instead of picking apart myself daily.  If there was something I felt I needed to improve or that I need to improve I would slowly work towards that goal, but remembering that quality didn’t need to define me. When you start to accept things as they are, instead of how you thought they should be you learn to find harmony.

I still constantly set goals for myself, because it’s hard for me to function without them, but I changed my attitude when setting my goals. So now instead of working out to become skinny, I work out to keep my mental health in check, and to add years to my life by focusing on good health. I set goals for long term purposes instead of short term goals that might give me happiness for a brief moment.

Overall, I’ve come to understand that you can’t just reach for things that make you happy. Happiness doesn’t come with every vacation, or new shiny purchase. Happiness is achieved when you change your attitude and realize that happiness is something you find in the little blessings you already have daily. So remember that happiness isn’t a destination, it’s an attitude.