Do you guys have that have that one family activity that you always get worked up about when anticipating?  For me, it’s always been family pictures. For any “normal” family it may seem like a great way to spend a little quality time together, share a few fake laughs and get on with their day. For my family it goes one of two ways, we have some great quality photos and someone leaves crying; or we have 100 dysfunctional photos, everyone got along, but mom hates every photo taken. So I thought for the sake of your family I would create a how to: take a great family photo in a few simple steps.

Step 1: Force your family to be there. Making sure everyone HAS to be there and really force them to show up with a good attitude. Bonus points if you schedule it during an inconvenient time.

Step 2: Tell everyone to match, but be extremely vague so not everyone actually matches.

Step 3: Change the location…at least three times.

Step 4: Pick the family victim: this doesn’t have to be the same person, but you have to choose who you are going to target for the day.

Step 5: Make unnecessary jabs at victim all day so even if they look pissed in all the pictures, it ensures your eyes are squinted from laughing at their rage.

Step 6: Pose your family strategically, and make sure everyone warms their face with a smile nearly perfect.

Step 7: Only showcase everyone’s good side

Step 8: Avoid showing any flaws, or mishaps that may happen during the photo shoot.

Step 9: Share on social media for the world to see your picture-perfect family.

Step 10: Display photos on the wall until next year. Rinse and repeat.

The truth is, I have a love hate relationship with family photos and the pictures we share on the wall. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that we want memories of our loved ones, and all of those we treasure, but truthfully memories don’t come with the photos of our families positioned perfectly on the wall. For me, I love looking through the raw photos, the pictures that show emotion and actually capture the moment.

The picture-perfect scene has never made me tick, I love wondering what the background story is in a photo, and looking through posed photos of smiling faces makes me wonder if there is even a story to tell. Raw photos make me realize that every family is human, that they are flawed, and have gone through life together leaning on each other for support.

To be honest not every moment in a family is sunshine and rainbows, there is always a low point or two, or an unnecessary fight. There is no such thing as a picture-perfect family, and that’s okay. Our family is so far from perfect on the outside, that we don’t even try to disguise it anymore. This wide mouth, big laugh, goofy faced group of people is who we are. Family means supporting each other through every roller coaster ride, and thank God I have a family like mine. I’m so glad I have a family that has overcome the notion of being perfect, and realizes that they are human, because our photos on the wall, the silly faced, laughing, crying, and fighting photos are indeed us, and i’m so glad I got stuck with a bunch of goons that don’t photograph well.