Alright guys,

You all know that I’ve been in a relationship for a couple weeks, and things are pretty great. “Relationshit” isn’t the first word that comes to mind, and I haven’t actually plotted his death yet so I’m going to say that’s fairly successful, but heck what do I know?

Although hypothetically speaking say I did plot his death, I think I would use something like poison his food and do it slowly, so he would be sweet, and cuddly while he was fading out. But this blog isn’t about me plotting his death, because quite frankly I’m not ready to become a red dot on some government map out there.

In our years of dating I can honestly say that we haven’t had any HUGE fights. I’m not overly sure why, we just aren’t big fighters. You can call it lack of passion if you will but the 2a.m. screaming matches don’t really suit my lifestyle (that’s well beyond my bedtime). To  say we haven’t ever fought would be a lie, we’ve fought about some pretty dumb things and looking back at those “fights” now makes me literally laugh out loud.  So here is a list of our top dumb fights, and I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

Dumb Fight #1

So as a couple we’ve picked out a few shows that we watch together via Netflix. Devin doesn’t have his own Netflix account hooked up anywhere so he comes over to watch our shows together. We were in the middle of watching The 100 when my niece decided to make her way into the world.  I don’t mean we had watched one or two episodes, we were close to finishing the second season and things were EXTREMELY intense. Unfortunately, I had to pack up and head to Kansas, because I wasn’t going to be the last to meet my little unibrowed, hairy, six-pound niece. I left the next morning in route to Kansas, where I stayed for a week. I got back and told Devin about my trip and caught up, he said that it was a mellow week and nothing exciting happened. About a week later we were driving in my car, casually Devin mentioned he was anxious for the next season of The 100 to come out, to which I replied “umm we haven’t even finished season two.” It was at that moment he realized he had said too much because I figured out he had finished “our” show without me.  I’m not an overly emotional person, but occasionally I have these meltdowns about the dumbest things. So here I am driving through Billings bawling because he watched “our” show without me, like next time just fake break up with me on Valentine’s day because that would be more pleasant. It takes a lot for me to get mad but I didn’t talk to him for days (well until I finished our show alone). To this day he wont watch one of our shows without me, so really who’s the real winner here.

Side note: I know there’s endless articles discussing how you can’t keep score in a relationship but we all secretly do, and it’s rare that I win…so I’m taking this one.

Dumb Fight #2

We were both in college at UMW, and for those of you who haven’t met Devin sometimes, he can be a BIT of a sarcastic person, and today was one of those days where he had a comment for everything. He was laying on my bed making random remarks, while I was cleaning my house and belting Sara Evans. For those of you who aren’t big Sara fans, one of my favorite songs by her is “Born to Fly” it’s basically a song about how she isn’t the kind of girl to build roots, and for some odd reason I identify with this song. Devin had poked at me long enough, and I finally looked at him and said “This is totally my song, I’m a peacock you gotta let me fly.”

I meant this jokingly and maybe a little as a jab, but it escalated far quicker than I anticipated. Honestly, this is how the start of a yearlong breakup started, and we were both too stubborn to admit that Sara Evans broke us up. How ridiculous is that?

Okay, a few other things played into factor too, like I was running away to Greece for a month, and we had both been brats for a year, but Sara really set me off. Ladies, sometimes you gotta turn down the “strong independent female personality” and admit you were wrong, and hope he does the same.

 

Dumb Fight #3

Devin and I were still in the awkward breakup phase, but we had been together 4 years and this kid was my best friend, a breakup wasn’t going to change that in my mind.

It was 2 a.m. and I was crashing at my best friend’s house (which I literally did for a whole semester, because I was too lazy to drive 30 minutes to my house, S/O to Chaffin, you the real MVP), I was a week out from knee surgery and enjoying the night life before I became a gimp. The doctor was convinced I was going to be on crutches for 12 weeks, and I was dreading the whole situation. Apparently, a few stiff waters will make me feel like whatever I want to say to someone is totally appropriate. I was in Billings, and Devin was 4 hours away at UMW. I don’t vividly remember this entire phone call but I was a wreck! I was just about to get braces, and a week out from knee surgery, and technically speaking I was in fact single. I was pissed, and more or less I was pissed at Devin, because he couldn’t love me when I was “hot.” I was about to be a single, brace faced, gimp, and I positive that I was going to gain weight from surgery and I was going to be a big fatty on top of all that. As if the single life wasn’t hard enough, throw a few dating handicaps in there, you’re basically doomed, or so I thought. So here I was in the middle of my best friends living room hyperventilating and hysterically crying because no one was ever going to love me (I know I’m so glad I’m never dramatic). Finally, Devin calmed me down and I went to sleep, to wake up the next morning with smeared mascara, and a drenched pillow. I’m almost sure that phone call won him back…

Honestly those aren’t our only fights or our only dumb fights, because I assure you every time one of us wants to go out to eat we’re going to have a dumb fight. There should be an app to pick where you’re going to eat, because we suck at this. But all in all, in our years of dating I’ve learned that I would take endless dumb fights if that meant we could laugh together when all is said and done. I’ve learned watching everyone else’s relationships, that sometimes you just need to take it easy. Things don’t always have to be a big fight, or full of emotion, sometimes it just takes two light hearted spirits living life to make things work. Also the main thing I’ve learned in my dating life so far is that I’m responsible for my own happiness. Do I think my significant other improves my quality of life? Yes, at times I do. But I really have learned that if I’m not content with my own life, I can’t expect him to swoop in and save the day, after all he is still human.