I wore shorts to the gym today, and to some people that might be an everyday occurrence, but for me…that’s a first.

In fact I haven’t wore shorts above my knee while doing physical activity since before knee surgery. I know it sounds crazy, and maybe a bit dramatic but to be honest knee surgery took me 5 steps back. I gained the ability to do all the things I loved like running, but it also came with setbacks. I gained weight being on crutches for six weeks, and on top of that I earned some gnarly scars. I lost a lot of confidence after that, along with a few other life events during that time.

I started hiding underneath layers of clothes, waist trainers and anything that might disguise my weight. I kept this mentality for years until last fall when I snapped out of it. I started training for a big race, I hoped with training the weight would just melt off…but it didn’t. In fact my body started changing, and even though I was losing weight the muscle I gained counter acted the scale. I was discouraged but I realized there was more to what I was doing.

I’m still classified as overweight and it’s something I’m going to battle probably forever. I’ll never be able to eat what I want without consequences, I’ll gain weight when I slack off in the gym but there’s more to life.

I’ve realized that my body can accomplish more than a number on a scale.

I can run for miles, bike across a city, paddle for hours, and lift more than I ever imagined. I’m ready for any challenge that the day throws at me, regardless of how active I may have to be. I may not be a size 2 or even anything close to it, but I continue to surprise myself and work towards bigger goals.

Today I was talking about my most recent race, where I had shaved off 1:07 of every mile I ran. However instead of focusing on the positive side, his response was… “just think if you were 60lbs lighter you probably would be even faster, and have a chance at being better than 2nd”

I shrugged off the comment and said yeah that’s true but at least I actually tried to do something, that’s more than most people can say. He responded with, “guess you don’t want it bad enough.”

Now I’m not arguing with that because realistically it’s true, and it’s something I’ll work on as time passes. I just also feel that sometimes in life we need to accept where we are while we keep moving on. If we discredited all progress, we would all give up before we got anywhere.

Embrace where you are, wear shorts to the gym and stop giving a shit about what everyone else is thinking. If someone wants to make fun of “the fat girl” in the gym, you’re already better than them anyways. Quit focusing on the scale, and realize that if your body is achieving everything you want to accomplish that should be enough.

Screw society and their image of what they think you should look like and start creating your own standards.

Until next week,

Me