Alright, if you’ll bear with me I’m going to take a second to be vulnerable! I have been so mopey, and gloomy this week I haven’t wanted to even be around myself. Have you ever heard that saying when things are going great with work, your personal life fails? Or even opposite of that… well here’s the thing, work is going great, I’m staying busy and my life is it’s normal blend of chaos. However, I’ve sucked at my personal life lately. I’ve been so disconnected with personal relationships in my life that I haven’t put forth a great effort into them. The truth is, it isn’t everyone else that I’ve been disconnected with, I’ve been actually losing touch with myself and who I have promised I would be.

Over the previous months I’ve started letting other’s define my self-worth. I’ve had a blend of comments from putting me down, telling me I can’t, and anything in between and I’ve let it affect who I am as a person. Today I made a two hour drive in silence because I knew I needed time to reflect, and here’s what I decided during that time.

Worth isn’t dictated by a relationship status, a job, a bank account, a car, or any materialistic and tangible thing. Worth isn’t determined by praise, or criticism, or even a label. It has nothing to do with likes, or follows. It doesn’t change whether someone calls you pretty, shy, chubby, or smart.

Worth isn’t something you hand off on a silver platter, therefore it isn’t something that can just be taken away from you. People will make judgments on a part of your life, personality, or outside characteristics because they THINK that they know you.

Luckily for me i’ve seen the whole picture and I know better. You can’t spend an eternity being a people pleaser, because it’s only detrimental to your own personality. For far too long I based my worth on a satisfaction index completed by others. If they were happy, I was good; if they were unhappy, I was bad. I took on the responsibility of others’ happiness. I tried to fix the broken, mend the hurt and carry all the weight that comes with that. This lifestyle was exhausting and came with a very large price tag: my self-worth.

Today, I’ve decided not to let others define who I am as a person, and create my own definitions of who I am and who I aspire to be. In order to flip this script, you have to change the dialogue you have with yourself. I will no longer allow anyone to tell me the worth and value I have as a human being.

Today marks the start of a long but never ending journey of defining who I am.

Remember next time you decide to let someone define who you are remember John G. Stevens said it best when he said, “Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.”

Until Next Week,

Julissa