Okay guys this article is a little late because I’ve been in a good run of bad luck for over a month now, but I think the third bad thing just happened so I’m safe to write this.

Let me just start by saying, I’ve never really had a run in with the law. Yeah… I’ve been pulled over, I may not always follow the exact law, but for the most part I’d say I’m walking the straight and narrow. Yet, recently it just seems like I can’t catch a break.

Prior to this date I had been pulled over 12 times, I cried my way out of the first few but beyond that I seriously don’t know how I’ve weaseled my way out of them.

A few weeks ago I was making my weekly commute to Miles City for work. Some may call that a two hour drive, i however call t a two hour concert featuring me. Most of the time I’d like to say I’m pretty decent about setting my cruise, but for whatever reason the music must have had me pumped. The next thing you know I’m flying down the interstate at 97, only to fly over a hill and see the highway patrol parked in the median. Before he even turned on his lights I pulled over and waited.

“Umm ma’am did you know you were speeding.”

With a slight panic giggle I said, “yeah guess this old dodge was in a hurry huh.”

Unhumored by my awkwardness he raised his eyebrows and asked for my information. I handed it over, as I told him I was headed for work, while trying to bat my eyes a little.

“Well I’ll make this ticket quick and have you on your way.”

I figured that was probably for the better since there was no way I could explain how I managed to sneak up to that speed. As I’m writing this I actually realize I haven’t given my $70 to Custer County yet and I can only imagine there’s a warrant out for my arrest somewhere out there.

Fast forward 4 days! It was a Friday night, and I decided since I wasn’t working it would be nice to find something to do! So I made a few phone calls and after an invite to dinner I decided I would crash a girls night. We were headed to an Italian restaurant downtown and honestly sometimes the parking in downtown Billings is horrendous. I found a great parking spot behind the building, and parked without thinking much of it. After a hearty serving of her Italian nachos and pasta later I walked out to find my pickup MIA. So not knowing what to do I call around Billings and eventually tracked down the police department to see what they had in their records.

Eventually I reach the towing company and for the extremely affordable price of $330 they would do graciously “gift” me my pickup out of their impound lot. Also maybe it’s just me but the entire situation was so sketchy. They told me they would meet me back where my pickup got towed and either give me a ride, or I could follow them to their impound after I handed them cash. Mind you the guy showed up in a military uniform (vest included) and didn’t have a receipt book with him. Sure I’d love to hand a total stranger in a uniform he’s outgrown $330 to follow him to a location that wasn’t disclosed. TOTALLY NOT CREEPY AT ALL!!!

Ultimately I handed over the money and thank God for good friends that drove me to where I needed to be. I rescued my pickup, and decided to get a stiff drink because I needed one after that.

*disclosure* if you haven’t ever eaten at Ciao mambos downtown I would 10/10 recommend it! Unless we’re talking about the parking situation in that case, I give it a 4, but seriously go get yourself some Italian nachos. It’s worth the extra $330!

Fast forward one more week: I had just finished working at my second job when I got a text from a friend telling me to come over. Since it was my best friend and he was in town I didn’t feel obligated to even think about saying no. So I headed over, as soon as I sat down and started visiting my dad was calling. I handed my friend to my buddy since Todd actually might like him more than me, and let him deal with it. The phone call ended with my best friend deciding we were going to drive to a bar to meet my dad for a “soda.” I figured I had time for a quick soda and so we jumped in my pickup, and handed a few blocks away.

As we’re pulling in I joked with my buddy saying we have to park in a good spot because I’m not committed to getting my pickup out of jail again. So we parked behind a close business that wasn’t even marked at the time. I locked up and we headed in. Maybe 30 minutes later a burly guy walks through the bar to tell me my pickup is hooked up to his truck and being towed. UMMMM WHAT?! So my best friend and I go out to see if we can talk them out of towing it, or pay the bill. Realizing I don’t even have my debit card or $280 of cash on me I panic. Eventually a friend slipped me some money, and I got the guy to drop my pickup.

I don’t know what it is about my pickup attracting the sketchiest tow guys, but literally every time it gets worse. We tried to make small talk with the tow guys they literally wouldn’t introduce themselves or shake our dang hands. Maybe they were raised differently but I’m just glad my folks raised me with manners. They at least had the decency to laugh at my joke before I started to tear up.

I probably don’t tell my best man friend thank you enough but sweet Jesus was I glad he was there with me that night. If there’s one thing he understands it’s my inability to deal with emotions and me being upset is cured with laughter.

Knock on wood it’s now been three weeks since I’ve encountered any kind of run in with anything that is costly but I feel I’ve learned some valuable lessons through this all.

1. If the parking is going to be terrible, just stay home… it’s so much cheaper.

2. When performing live concerts in the cab of your pickup always set the cruise control.

3. Tow guys are naturally sketchy.

4. Humor almost always lightens the situation even if you are fighting mad.

5. Always have a stiff drink as your go to after the worst days.

6. Choose your friends wisely they’re the only things that really pull you through when you’re having one of those days.

Until next time,

Your forever hot mess friend

Julissa